Character is an attribute that has to be taught to students, and they must learn it.  So teach the process of character to your students.  Teach application, not just implication. Teach the meaning of these words that instill, and demonstrate good character: Wisdom, gracious, patience, self-discipline, gentleness, trustworthiness, purity, others-centered, diligence, punctuality, generosity, honesty, perseverance, compassion, courageous, and hard working.  Notice those words can also describe some character traits of God.  Maybe that is why Paul said in Romans 8:29 we are to endeavor to become like Jesus!  Along with those great words of good character go two other attributes that must be taught and learned:  Confidence, and Value. 

Confidence comes from having a firm faith or belief in what is right, proper, and effective. Make sure you teach that belief to them, and of course, that belief comes through Jesus and the Bible.  Confidence comes from being told “well done”.  Reinforce the confidence of students by making sure they are acknowledged or rewarded for a job well done, and are built back up after correction or discipline.

Value is another trait that you must teach your students.  God loves them no matter what.  There is nothing they can do that will diminish God’s love of them, and there is nothing they can do that will cause God to love them more. (He may be disappointed, or on the other hand be pleased, but His love never waivers).  Teachers should also have that same attitude toward their students.  Teaching a student that they are valuable is a must.  Every person wants to have value, and Christian schooling should ensure that each and every student has value, especially during the teen years when they are struggling to understand their value, and look for it in various places: so be one of the places that they feel secure and valuable.

In developing a policy on discipline for your school, a sound Christian school also incorporates a policy on character building that includes the processes of handling a stimulating situation, confidence, and value.  Teaching the student to make godly choices on their own is the goal.  The story of Joseph in Genesis can be a great example to use as a basis of your policy. There is also a wealth of information on-line about teaching character. Your school may use such tools as encouraging or requiring volunteerism or community service from students, offer a “Christian Character Award” in sports and the classroom, or spotlight specific examples of Christian character stories of students in a school publication or bulletin board.  I encourage you to research those and purposefully administer a character building policy for your Christian school.

 Rules of conduct, why those rules exist, explanation and understanding when rules are broken, humble repentance of specific wrongdoing, properly explaining why and administering discipline, reconciliation with love, accountability to ensure non-repeating the wrongdoing, praise when correction and proper attitude is recognized, and the resultant character building is a biblical process that is part of a sound Christian school.

“And it is good for people to submit at an early age to the yoke of his discipline.” Lamentations 3:27 NLT

Copyright 2013  Kevin Brownlee

Here is another character saying I have told my daughter: “Try to find sunshine even on a cloudy day, the sun is always there, some days you just have to strive a little harder to see it.”  That goes well with the biblical command in Philippians 4 to “rejoice always”.  A person with good character is optimistic, filled with hope, joy, and peace.   I also like to give this spelling and definition to her… “Sonshine: The light of God’s Son Jesus shining through us.  “How will you be sonshine today?”  I wrote that on a yellow sticky note and put it on her school things one day.  Several years later, that same sticky note is on her main notebook that she sees every school day.

Do you have any “Sticky Note” sayings you have left for your children you would like to share? Leave them as a comment.

Copyright 2013  Kevin Brownlee

Teaching character to students should emulate how God teaches us.  He does so using His Word, He is merciful toward us, patient with us, gives us a lot of grace, is persistent with us, uses trials suffering to teach us, and helps us learn from our mistakes. He does not demand perfection, but wants us to strive toward it. He does not burden us with rules, but has rules for our own good (we can tend to use a lot of rules in an attempt to please Him, which is called legalism, which he was upset at the Pharisees over). He understands we mess up, but grants repentance, mercy, and forgiveness, and asks us to humbly try again in the direction of righteousness.  Oh, and remember to “lighten up”. God is not a kill-joy, he wants us to be joyful, and to remember He loves us more than we will ever know.

One essential method of teaching character to students is by using the acronym T.E.A.C.H., which is Thinking, Emotions, Actions, Character, and Honor.  Here is how it works:

Whenever any situation comes up in life such as a decision to be made, or a response to some sort of a stimulant such as harsh words spoken to the person, or an occurrence such as a change of plans or another driver cuts you off, there is a process that takes place:

• Thinking.  A person must think what their reaction will be to the situation or stimulant. This is the proper first step, and it takes self-discipline to do this. This first step usually does not come naturally; it has to be taught to students. Most everyone’s reaction to a stimulant begins with the second step (emotions), but thinking must occur prior to an emotional response.  Thinking how to handle the situation biblically is the goal here, so use biblical examples when teaching this.
• Emotions. In nearly all situations, your thoughts are to control your emotions. That statement is hard to do; therefore it must be taught and understood by the student. God created emotions, and they are wonderful.  However, improper emotions, and uncontrolled emotions can be detrimental to the person and to others.  Reacting to a “bad” situation or occurrence can, by our (sinful) nature, almost always evokes emotions such as anger, worry, or fear, which are all sins according to God’s Word.  Learning to control those bad emotions at the onset of the situation is a must, and then think about it logically, rationally, and biblically.
• Actions. This is the acting out of your thinking or your emotions.  We can all recite a sad situation where a person’s emotional reaction (action) to a situation was not good.   We can also recall how impressed we were when a person handled a situation thoughtfully with actions of grace and good character (biblically).  Students need to be taught to react to a situation by pausing and thinking about that situation, how they will respond, and how they can glorify God in their response.
• Character. A person’s character is defined and displayed by how they handle a situation. Their actions will generally show their true character, which comes from how they thoughtfully or emotionally deal with a situation. As a person matures, the process a person goes through in their mind prior to their action becomes quicker, and more natural. So have patience with students as they work on this.
• Honor.  Just as a person’s character is defined by the acting out of their thinking and emotions, a person’s honor is defined by their character. Honor is the outpouring of your character on others, and God, as well as yourself. It is what other people, and God, think of you. Honor is something you have to pretty much constantly work on.  You work on it by solidifying your beliefs, having confidence in your beliefs, and then using those beliefs in the process of thinking about a situation and your reaction to it, controlling your emotions in that situation, and by acting responsibly to the situation.  When a person acts honorably, they bring honor to God.

Remember most people react to a stimulating situation by bypassing thinking and going straight to emotions.  And, most of the time, the results are less than desirable.  Jesus handled every stimulating situation by thinking first, and His thoughts were controlled by His “biblical” knowledge and wisdom, and so should we.  So if you are a teacher or parent, teach that to students. How do you teach this? Teach the self-discipline of pausing briefly, take a step back in the mind and look at the situation as a whole, ask “what would please Jesus”?  Sometimes playing out different scenarios in your mind can be good, if the student can do that, but most kids have trouble processing things that way in their mind.  In any situation it is good to ask, does this please Jesus, or does it please self?  It is always best to please Jesus, which is better than any fleeting pleasure or satisfaction that He would not approve of.

Ed Welch, a Christian Author and Biblical Counselor wrote: “When principles or steps wander from Christ himself, they become self-serving guidelines.  They make our marriages, families, friendships, and work go better, but the goal is our own betterment more than the glory of God… ‘Be good’ and ‘Do right’ are fine messages, but when they stand alone they have more in common with the Boy Scouts’ Handbook than Scripture.  Remember that in the Bible, ‘This is who God is and what He has done’ always precedes ‘this is what you must do.’  Action follows our knowledge of God and trust in Him.  It is as if God has said to us, ‘Now that you have seen who I am, you will want to love Me in return…’”[i]

Character is patterned after God’s Word, and our character grows more pleasing to Him when the more like Jesus we become.

Copyright 2013  Kevin Brownlee

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[i] Addictions: a Banquet in the Grave. Finding Hope in the Power of the Gospel. Edward T. Welch, P. 155, P&R Publishing Company, Phillipsburg, New Jersey 08865

“Maintain good character”. I tell that to my daughter nearly every day as a reminder, especially whenever she leaves to a friend’s house, the mall, or a school trip.  It is an accountability issue with her too, because I will often ask her when she returns home if she maintained good character, and ask for some examples.  You may ask: how does she know what good character is?  Well, we have taught her.  She didn’t just acquire it, because with a sinful nature in us all (we Christians know what that means) good character has to be taught.  Does your school do a good job of teaching good character? Do you have specific lessons in the classroom to teach good character?

Attitude is an indication of character, so think of the attitude of students you know or teach, and how that is a reflection of their character. How do you handle differing attitudes in students? Do you chastise bad attitudes, and praise good attitudes?  I would suggest that you come up with some specific lessons and rewards for the topic of character. You should also use opportunities in the classroom to point out examples of good, and bad character both in the topics of discussion (when studying Joseph, George Washington, General MacArthur, or Judas Iscariot, Nero, or Bernie Madoff), or when a student demonstrates good or bad character at school.  That is one way to teach character, by pointing out bad, or good character examples.

Teachers, staff, and parents should always be a model of good character.  How are you doing in that?  In a classroom situation, a school or sporting event, or in front of kids or God, how are you always demonstrating good character?  Pay attention to that, students are watching, and learning from you!

My Father used to tell me: “Your true character comes out when no one is looking”.  That is an important statement to instill in your students.  Remember character is something in a student that has to be taught to them, and they have to learn it, and work on it.  Be careful how you portray character, however, and think carefully about how you teach it.  For instance, I remember my Dad saying right before a spanking “Here comes the belt of character”, and another time, when I was told to clean the manure out of our barn “This job will teach you some character”.  I don’t know how those helped me build character, and I probably learned the wrong meaning of the word, so be careful of that.  I do know proper discipline and communicating the reasons why the student is being disciplined teaches good character.  So ask God to give you wisdom in how you discipline and teach character to students.

The next several posts will cover more ideas on how to teach good character, so visit back soon!

Copyright 2013  Kevin Brownlee